scare package

I requested a few items- mostly volleyball stuff- from my family a while back, so I was excited last Friday to finally receive the goods. I ripped open the box in hopes of a few extras, and was not soon disappointed. I got extras, all right.

I wasn't at all surprised by the water-squirting octopus or a candy cane from last Christmas, and was most grateful for the two cans of mousse. Then, suddenly, I spied some zip-locked papertowels nestled in among the kneepads. "Cookies?" I wondered, but grabbing for the bag I felt the contents to be quite light and perhaps a bit crunchy. "Aw, dried flowers," I concluded, thinking of my mom's lilacs on the west side of our yard. Not so, I'm afraid. As I gently unrolled the paper towels, I was shocked to find three giant (dead) JUNE BUGS.

I realize that very few of you will have had experience with the June Bug (technically, I think, a beetle), so let me assure you that they are 1) very large and 2) very ugly. I loved the things when I was little, as their sticky legs allowed them to scale my entire arm without falling off. They also make a delightful hissing sound when you provoke them- which, of course, I did whenever I could. After all, they're only around for late June (thus the name?) and July each summer- at least at my house.

Unfortunately, they fell from my grace circa 1995, when I uncovered a pile of their unsightly larvae (also 1. very large and 2. VERY ugly). The bugs have been a family joke ever since, so I should have known better than to request a package in the middle of the summer. Ew.