the aspirations of a foot model

It was early fall of my sophomore year of high school and we were standing around, talking, and generally waiting for the end-of-lunch-bell when one of my friends suddenly pointed down and said to me, "you have cute feet." Looking down at my open-toed, Jesus-style-sandaled toes and then performing a quick-scan of my friends' similarly-clad feet, I realized she was right. So right, in fact, that I insisted on wearing my open-toed, Jesus-style-sandals until it snowed.

Okay, not quite, but it did get me to thinking... foot modeling. I mean, that's got to be pretty easy money. I could do nail polishes, acrylics, toe jewelry, and would know I'd hit it big if ever chosen to be the "after" model in the warts or athletes foot commercials. Not a lot of time, not a lot of labor, minimal risk from celebrity-stalkers, why not?!

It's been almost eight years since my sophomore-year realization, and I've not a single photo shoot to speak of. It's my own fault. I always figured that the nail places would be where the scouts hang out (or at least where they receive tips from), and yet I've barely ventured in for a pedicure twice- and both for weddings, where all the bridesmaids are running around and creating an atmosphere far from the ideal negotiating conditions. I must also admit that my pepp friends were not nearly as supportive of my ambition as were my hometown friends, although perhaps my little toes do curl in slightly. In any case, since then I've suffered from the loss of two toenails (left, fourth toe from a good stub last year and right, big toe from raquetball last fall) and only TODAY have I declared the second of the two completely, 100% recovered! I am back on the market! Now if I can just straighten out those little toes...